Their Crowning Glory


Both of my daughters are blessed with great hair.  From their dad’s side of the family, they inherited thick, full heads of hair.


Shelbie’s is naturally straight, and was very blonde when she was younger, although it’s getting darker as she gets older.

Elayna’s is naturally wavy, and light brown with natural blonde highlights.  People think her hair has been highlighted in a salon.

Both girls have almost always worn their hair very long.  They both cut it short once in their lives, just above their shoulders.  But then they grew it back out.

Growing up, I was not allowed to cut my hair.  It was very, very long; past my rear end.  My dad loved long hair and forbid me to cut it, other than trimming off the split ends, until the summer before I went into high school .  So, only because it was forced on me, I hated it most of the time.  It was very pretty though; my Mom  helped me take very good care of it (it’s not easy to brush through hair that long by yourself).  In middle school, I was voted Prettiest Hair, and that’s about the only time I was proud of my hair.

So of course, I vowed to never tell my kids what to do with their own hair, within reason.  My son had shoulder-length hair in middle school, and even very briefly dyed it purple on a dare.  Elayna had a pink streak a few years ago.  My former stepson Andrew had a mohawk which we dyed red with Kool-aid.

The thing is, I really do love long hair on girls.  Growing up, I never wanted short hair, and when I did finally get my hair cut, it was still past my shoulders, almost to my shoulder-blades.  I’ve only had very short hair once in my life and that was a horrid, hideous mistake.  Never again!

So my daughters have had long hair most of their lives because that was their choice.  And I love it.  It’s part of their identity, to me.  But that doesn’t explain why, when Shelbie recently considered cutting her hair very short for summer, I started hyperventilating.

I’m not even kidding.  I discovered that thinking about my daughters cutting their hair off literally gives me anxiety.  Shelbie was texting me about cutting her hair and sent me a picture of the short style she was considering.  I literally felt my heart rate speed up.   My respiratory rate increased.  I truly can’t explain what it is about them cutting their hair that causes such a reaction in me.  Shelbie thought I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.  I really couldn’t argue with her.  I finally said, look, it’s your hair, do what you want with it.  Just don’t tell me about it. Go get it cut, let me have my meltdown, and then we’ll move on.
But (THANK YOU SWEE T BABY JESUS) she ended up changing her mind about getting it cut.

Shortly after, Elayna was talking about needing a hair cut and wanting to cut off quite a bit.  I told her that I would take her to get a haircut but ONLY a few inches off.  If she wanted to cut it short , that was her choice, but I wanted NO part of it.  I wouldn’t take her to the salon, I wouldn’t pay for it, I wouldn’t go with her, I wouldn’t participate.  She decided to just get a few inches off.  (THANK GOD.)
Even Elayna’s friends told her she shouldn’t cut her hair.

The lovely girl who trimmed Elayna’s hair (and had cut mine the day before, and styled Shelbie’s hair for prom) said she sympathized with me, and TOTALLY agreed that my girls are blessed with gorgeous hair and should keep it long.



Elayna LOVED her hair after the trim. It is so much healthier now.



Shelbie’s hair was beautiful for prom.

Recently, when I was on my way to get my hair cut, Byron texted me: Baby, please don’t get it cut too short, ok? 
He had nothing to worry about.  And I fully admit to being super-vain about my hair and not giving in to going gray.  I color my grays and I don’t know if I’ll EVER stop doing that.

What is it with women and our hair?  Is your hair your identity?  Do you have an emotional connection with your hair, and/or your kids’ hair?  I have heard of teary reactions to kids’ first haircuts, but am I cuckoo for coco puffs for still feeling emotionally attached to my teenaged daughters’ long locks?






10 thoughts on “Their Crowning Glory

  1. They sure do have beautiful hair and are very pretty girls. I had very, very long hair until I was 30. I had it cut to my shoulder blades and then the following year went extremely short.
    I like it around shoulder length now. I suddenly do not feel all that attached to it and actually recently changed my color. I am sure I will always color the gray.
    All 6 of my granddaughters have long hair, well the youngest two have not had more than a trim. Theirs is finally starting to grow.


  2. Your girls have great hair! I always had short hair as a child – I had pixie cuts and bobs, mostly. Do you remember the Dorothy Hamill cut? I had that, too! My hubs LOVES long hair. I’ve cut it short (chin length) twice since we’ve been together and he’s grumbled both times. I think I prefer mine long, too, but I go back & forth. I’m in the “growing out” process now and I hate it. I totally get you about not going gray – I have no idea what color my hair actually is anymore and I have ZERO intention of finding out!


  3. I just got about 8 inches cut off of my hair. It’s still a couple inches past my shoulders, but it feels short to me. I’m glad I cut it because honestly, what I cut off was so damaged and it’s so much healthier now. BUT. I want to grow it back out!


  4. None. I had 4 boys and clippers were my friend. And while I love long hair on other people, I hate it on myself. Mine is too long for ME now.

    Your girls have beautiful hair. If I had girls, I would love her to have hair like that!


  5. I so understand. I was a kid who also wasn’t allowed to get her hair cut. My mom mostly forbidden this. Then, when growing up, I learned that my hair defined me (by mistake). This ended up in anxiety every time I left the hair dresser. When I was 20, I went from long around the waist length to mid neck. I was not happy when it got chopped. I felt I looked like a broom. I went the following day to get it all smoothed out. I was much better. But for a day, my head hurt. I was so tense dealing with such horrible feeling.

    My kid is 3.5 and she got beautiful curly hair. Sometimes I want to trim it by 3 inches, but then the mom in me wants to keep it longer. I need to learn to let go he he


  6. omg, YES. I so know. My daughter is only 7, but it took years for her to even GROW her hair. So when she recently wanted it short I freaked. I made her wait so she would consider it for sure, and a few weeks later she was still asking. Fortunately she looks adorable. And I totally want to chop my own hair now, but I can’t – it’s so much of who I am. So yes, I SO feel you!! Your girls are beautiful, though, and their hair is gorgeous. I’m sure it would be short, too, but lucky you you won’t have to find out for a bit!


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